Gods of Sport

"In spite of all the real positives that we’ve had this summer, the blight on the game has been the Mexican wave we have seen at various grounds around the country," Cricket Australia chief executive James Sutherland said. "It’s not so much the wave itself, but the people who have participated in the wave have thrown things in the air in such a way that we believe it’s now got to a stage where we cannot ensure the public’s safety and comfort."
’Adios’ to the Mexican wave - News - Ashes Tour 06-07 - theage.com.au

What a load of bullshit!! The fun police have struck again. In a lame, lame piece of spin James Sutherland the CEO of Cricket Australia desperately tries to explain why the Mexican wave has suddenly become unacceptable. In a summer which has seen record crowds at the cricket we have also seen record criticism of the heavy handed "security" at matches in all States. Qld led the charge by imposing new tighter security inspections (without notice) at the Gabba which caused massive delays in getting people into the ground in time for the start of the game on the first couple of days. Huge numbers of people had cameras, musical instruments and "oversized" bag confiscated before they were allowed into the ground. The oversized bag thing is especially an outrage because it has nothing to do with "security" and everything to do with restricting peoples ability to bring their own food and drink to the ground, forcing them to then line up for the overpriced slop served up at the concession stands. The English "Barmy Army" have rated this as their worst tour ever partly because of their teams dismal form but principally because of the jack-booted, strong-arm crowd control tactics employed by Cricket Authorities throughout the summer.

So while paying between $40 and $80 dollars per day for your seat at the one day international you are bound by the following terms and conditions. The most outrageous of these being :-

9. that entry to the Venue is only permitted to spectators who agree to be searched (including their bags, clothes or other possessions) on entry and continued presence in the Venue is only permitted to spectators who agree to be searched (including their bags, clothes or other possessions) while in the Venue;

So some dick from a private security company has the right to search your person (presumably that’s where your clothes will be) and if you refuse to be frisked by the goon you can be tossed out of the ground.

11.that they consent to:
(i) the recording of their likeness and/or voice by any means (including but not limited to audio and visual recordings by television cameras and photographers) (together “Images”); and
(ii) the commercial exploitation, throughout the world, of their Images by any means by Cricket Australia and its commercial partners without compensation;

In other words you can be recorded or photographed without your knowledge and Cricket Australia then retains the right to make money from those images/recordings without every asking your permission or paying you one red cent.

12. that they are admitted to the Venue at their own risk;

13. that they are required to take appropriate care for their sun protection and hydration;

15. that Cricket Australia shall not be liable for any loss suffered by the patron or caused by any act or omissions of Cricket Australia;

Yep the old "all care but no responsibility" defense.

Cricket Australia need to seriously lift their game or they will be putting matches on in front empty stadiums in the near future.

Sometimes its just best to vent your emotions and not bottle them up a minute longer. Apparently, Andrew Miller a devout English cricket supporter and correspondent for Cricinfo has decided that enough is enough and it was time to let it all hang out. His most recent rant over England’s latest loss to New Zealand is a cracker. Here it is in all its glory.

I particularly enjoyed the bit where England were he runs through the various descriptions from the media of England’s efforts.

One-day cricket brings everyone all out in a rash of adjectives. A quick scour of the wires reveals that, on other pages, England’s latest performance has been described as "woeful", "desperate", "shambolic","pathetic" and "flaky", as they were "hammered", "blitzed", "trounced"and "destroyed" by the "rampant", "buoyant" and "determined" Kiwis.

Also near the bottom of the article is a link to the bullshit generator. If you have every worked in a corporate setting this will ring some bells.

Cricket, England, Andrew Miller, Cricinfo, Bullshit Generator

Well I think it is pretty much official now. This is the most dismally inept England team to have lost their bundle in Australia in GoS lifetime. Adelaide Oval is generally one of the most batsmen - friendly pitches in Australia and with its short square boundaries it often produces tons of runs. Yesterdays wicket had a little bit in it for the fast men but it was hardly a minefield. New Zealand’s bowling attack is tradesman-like rather than scary. After performing reasonably well with the ball and bowling NZ out for 210 a victory target of 211 should have been very gettable.

To be bowled out for 120 was lame in the extreme. The England batsmen increasingly look they would rather be just about anywhere at the moment than playing cricket in Australia. A couple of positives did come out of the match, the English pace men all did well and Ed Joyce showed a bit of form. At the other end of the spectrum Strauss and Collingwood look completely out of sorts.

Some things about the England team seem very strange to me, Paul Nixon being foremost amoung them. Now the guy has scored about 11,000 first class runs so apparently he can bat a bit but he has not shown us any of that in Australia at this stage. His keeping is ok without being spectacular. On the evidence of what GoS has seen from him so far Geriant Jones and Chris Read both appear to be at least his equal with the bat and Read is clearly a better keeper. His is older than both these guys and has (until now) no international experience. So WTF is he doing here? Apparently he has an aggressive attitude on the field which maybe the England selectors are hoping will fire up the rest of the team. This just in - its not working!!

There are 18 first class counties in England. Assuming that each county has a squad of about twenty and deducting a couple of overseas players from each squad there should be about 320 first class cricketers in England. Surely out of a pool of players that size and considering the huge amount of one - day cricket that is played in England, this mob cannot be the best one day players England have got. Surely??

The Adelaide Oval is one of the world’s most picturesque grounds, yet England must be sick of the sight of it. Six weeks ago, they self-destructed so spectacularly here that their Ashes campaign never recovered. Yesterday, a similarly grisly fate befell the one-day team.
Telegraph | Sport | Curse of Adelaide

Cricket, England, New Zealand, One Day International, Bloody Hopeless

Indian have approached Australia regarding the possibility of staging a series of one day international matches in New York. Negotiations are still at an early stage and there is still an enormous amount of detail to work out but it would be fascinating to see what sort of reaction they would get in New York in terms of attracting a crowd. Of course every Indian and Australian migrant/visitor in town would show up but would that be enough to fill a stadium ? Is there a suitable stadium in New York? Americans generally seem to think cricket is A/ Impossibly complicated B/ Slower than a wet weekend C/ Kind of, well how do you say it, err British. Now these arguments have some validity. To the uninitiated cricket is complicated (although most kids who play have the game pretty well sorted by the time they are 10 or so). Test match cricket can be slow, very slow at times, and any game which lasts five days and can still finish without a winner generally takes a bit of explaining to the unenlightened and yes cricket has its roots in Britain, which is the traditional home of the game.

So why try and take the game to the States? For the cash of course! The Indian pay TV market is massive and Cricket is the number one sport in India. hence cricket matches featuring Indian = big bucks. The Indian cricket board estimate that they could generate $42 from offshore television rights alone from a 7 match series.

Cricket in the USA already has a surprisingly large number of players participating. Cricket is being played in all fifty states with the major cricket centers being New York, New Jersey, California, Florida, Chicago and Texas. Currently there are 36 established leagues, 650 clubs and over 12,000 senior players. A national youth program was recently established for the junior cricketers. Check out the United States of America Cricket Association here. And if you don’t believe that cricket is not discussed at the highest level in the USA have a look at the photographic evidence .

The Indian and Australian boards are planning a one-day series to be played in North America. New York or Toronto are the likely venues. News.com reported that Cricket Australia operations manager Michael Brown confirmed last night that Australia had been approached by India for the series, though the details remained to be worked out. "You never say never but details at this stage are sketchy," Brown said. Two possible stumbling blocks in the negotiations could be Australia’s tour programme and wrangling over the percentage of revenues to be shared between the rival boards, with Australia reportedly demanding an equal share and the Indians demurring.
Cricinfo - India and Australia may play ODI series in New York

Cricket, New York, USA Cricket Association, Australia, Indian, George Bush

No he hasn’t apologised to England fans for the Ashes failure. David Graveney has apologised for suggesting that Darren Gough was too fat to bowl for England any more. Graveney in announcing England’s squad for the world cup said of Gough "He is not fit - and would not be fit in time".

Graveney blathered on about how he should have been more "sensitive" to Gough. Well he has appeared on some sort of celebrity ballroom dancing show recently so maybe Gough is more in touch with his feminine side these days. Anyway after everyone had kissed and made up Graveney then finished his apology with a cracking backhanded compliment to Gough. "One great quality about Darren is that he backs himself and still thinks he has a role to play." Ouch, apparently Darren "thinks" he has a role to play but we all know the truth is …….

England chairman of selectors David Graveney has publicly apologised to Darren Gough for the way his omission from the World Cup squad was handled. When England revealed the 30 names in the preliminary squad they said Gough, Tim Bresnan and Ian Blackwell were not fit - and would not be fit in time. Gough, holding an England record 235 wickets in one-day cricket, was only told of his fate via text message.
BBC SPORT | Cricket | England | Graveney issues apology to Gough

Cricket, Darren Gough, David Graveney, Apology, World Cup Squad, Unfit, Fat, Ballroom Dancing

The times they are certainly a-changing in Australian Cricket. Another long term Australian player Micheal Bevan has quit cricket effective immediately. He has had problems with a whole host of injuries and says he has lost his enthusiasm for the game as a result. Bevan was widely regarded as the best one day batsman in the world during the late 90’s and early 2000’s. His one day average of 53.58 is the third best of all time and is only bettered by current players Kevin Pietersen and Michael Hussey both of whom have only played a fraction of the 232 one day internationals that Bevan played.

All the same he is something of an unfulfilled genius. In his younger days he was hailed by teammates and coaches alike as the best player they had ever seen for his age. The words genius and Michael Bevan could often be found in the same press clipping in those early years. He was hugely prolific at first - class level (19,147 runs at 57.32) but his 18 Test matches just never reflected his ability (785 run at 29.07). Surprisingly, his test bowling figures were excellent (29 wickets at 24.24) considering he was only regarded as a part timer in first class cricket.

He scored more first class runs than anyone else for NSW at the 4th highest average (9309 at 63.32). To put that in some perspective the three guys ahead of him in the averages were a group of hacks by the name of Bradman, Kippax and Morris. Doug Walters a NSW living legend played about the same number of games for NSW as Bevan and made 6612 runs at 41.84. How did this guy never make it at Test level ?? General wisdom was that he had weakness against the fast short ball but this never really showed up in his first class career either in Australia or in English county cricket.

Bevan now joins Shane Warne, Glen McGrath, Damien Martyn and Justin Langer as senior players who have either fully or partially retired in the last few months.

Michael Bevan, who at his peak was the best one-day batsman in the world, has retired with immediate effect. Bevan spent his last three seasons with Tasmania and joined his former national team-mates Shane Warne and Damien Martyn as senior players who have walked away this summer. Bevan, 36, has suffered a series of on-going fitness problems, which have limited him to six matches for his state in 2006-07, and his inability to play at his desired standard forced the decision. "It got to the stage where injuries and pain were holding back my motivation," Bevan told AAP. "It got to the stage where I was finding it hard to get up for matches and that was probably a pretty clear indication that it was time to move on."
Cricinfo - Bye, bye, Bevan

Cricket, Michael Bevan, Retirement, NSW Cricket, Tasmanian Cricket, One day International

Ken Schofield former chief of the European PGA Tour has been chosen to lead the inquest into England’s disastrous Ashes campaign. GoS can save them a lot of time, money and anguish. An underprepared, understrength England team ran into a highly motivated, focused, Australian side which by just about any statistical measure you can name is probably the strongest Australia has ever fielded.

• Of the top 7 Australian batsmen during the recent Ashes series 4 have test batting averages which are in the highest 50 of all time (Hussey and Ponting are Number 2 & 6 on that list)
• Hayden and Langer - Australia’s openers have a partnership aggregate of 5314 runs - second only to Gordon Greenidge and Desmond Haynes’s 6482, but the 52.61 they put together per partnership is higher than the West Indians’ average of 47.31.
• Under Ricky Ponting’s captaincy Australia have won 27, drawn 5 and lost 3 of 35 matches the best winning ratio of any Australian captain
• Shane Warne is the leading wicket taker in the history of test cricket (708) and one of only 6 players in the history of the game to take over 300 test wickets and score over 3000 runs
• Glen McGrath is the leading fast bowling wicket taker of all time (563) and of bowlers who have played 50 or more tests has the fifth best average in Test history (21.64)
• Adam Gilchrist is the most prolific keeper/batsmen in the history of the game (5353 runs at 48.66) and 381 dismissals (344 caught and 37 stumped)

So put the pain on hold, England aren’t that bad. They simply ran into one of the greatest team’s in the history of the game on their home turf, in a vengeful, pissed off mood. While England celebrated the 2005 Ashes Australia stewed in its own juices and plotted payback. Perhaps the only thing an inquest should look at is - "how did we underestimate the size of the job ahead so badly? "

The worlds of cricket and golf are set to collide in the coming months, after it was announced that the inquest into England’s disastrous Ashes campaign is to be chaired by the former executive director of the European PGA Tour, Ken Schofield. "I’ve been appointed as an independent voice and I’ll do the job without fear or favour," said Schofield, 60, who retired in 2004 after a 30-year career in golf. His tenure took Europe from their days of incessant Ryder Cup defeats, and culminated in the current era of unprecedented success. "We have access to all areas and we know that we have to think quickly on our feet."
Cricinfo - Golf guru to lead Ashes inquest

Cricket, Ashes Inquest, Ken Schofield, The Ashes, European PGA Tour

Although England have been thoroughly spanked throughout the Australia summer the one batsman who has consistently shown a bit of fight is Kevin Pietersen. Now GoS personally think’s that Pietersen is a big headed wanker and one of the things he has been doing all season is walking down the wicket to veteran Australia fast bowler Glenn McGrath. This has been annoying the crap out of most Australia supporters and McGrath in particular. Then in a particularly satisfying moment during the first one day international the other day - bam - payback is truly a bitch. Here is the video of the bone busting event.

Cricket, Videos, Glen McGrath, Kevin Pietersen, Broken Rib, Australia Vs England

England team management is apparently quite upset that their "detailed" bowling plan for the Australian batsmen was taken and passed on to the media. They are suggesting that it was stolen, the ABC claim that it was sent to them via email from somebody claiming they found it on the floor in the members bar at the Melbourne Cricket Ground.

Frankly I can’t see what the fuss is about. If these are the "detailed plans" then can I please have a job as the analyst that put them together. I would reckon most fans who have seen any decent amount of the series would have been able to put this together. I have long suspected that all these analysts and other assorted hangers on that international cricket teams cart around with them these days did bugger all and here is the proof. The "plan" is in the screen shot below, click on it to see the full document.

Some of the stuff is blindingly obvious - like recommending bowling on and just outside off stump to the top seven Australian batsmen (who ever would have thought of that ?). Other bits are just strange. The note at the bottom saying that square leg should be straight to all players for example. Can anyone tell me where "straight square leg" should position themselves? The other amazing thing is that the whole thing fits on a single page of A4 paper. I was expecting a dossier on each player.

Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Bowling Plans

Shane Warne will today announce his retirement from test cricket. The guy is in his late 30’s which is fairly ancient by cricket standards so it is probably not such a massive shock that he is calling it quits but he is still playing well and most pundits thought he would probably play on for another couple of years.

Warne is irreplaceable. He is simply the greatest bowler in the history of the game. Sometime during the Melbourne Test he will pass 700 test wickets. 700!! Anyone who has more than 200 test wickets is considered to be a great bowler. Where does that put Warne? Simply in another stratosphere is where.

Check out what the press is saying here, here and here

What is all the fuss about? Have a look at the great man in action.

Cricket, Legend, Shane Warne, The Ashes, Retirement